Wednesday, June 06, 2007
♥
Haha im off hiatus (temporarily) :B
seriously there's nothing to post nowadays, it allll about trainings and home alone D: Especially trainings nowadays are so
vigorous, i doubt there'll be an end to all the mucsle aches.
& i feel really really bad, i cant go church. Kind of banned from church activities until further placat-ions? (persecutions suffocates me, it really does) I've been wanting to attend the Leaders session too, heard from Adrienna that only certain people are chosen. And yes, one of them's me! Yet, i have to disappoint them once again, feel like crying now :[ It's really important and i really
really wanted to deeply feel god's presence, I wanto hear what god is telling me.
I want to.
And yes, i know some of them thinks that i dont treat church seriously, and it's just another hang-out for me. Because i dont attend services/events as regularly as they did. but i know, god knows what im feeling and that, is Enough. If only i could attend church like the way the rest does, but i know, they too (some of them) did face persecutions once. And they faced it all, in god's name/power/embrace/glory. And i know i wanto be like them, i wanto become a Faithful attender and overcome these persecutions. The right time will arrive where god had everything planned in hand for me, i just know :]
And i know now all i have to do, is to pray, pray and more Praying. I wont stop praising and worshipping you lord, i'll never stop. Even if i do one day Lord, please guide me back :] Because i just love to spend nights crying-out-my-heart to you Lord, i just treasure every moment spent praising and worshipping you.
--
Righttttttt, now im in a dilema. To go, or not to go?
If i go:
Wenzhe/Joanna will not rot at home and i can meet them :D
What will Adrienna and cheryl think? Perhaps they'll think im just giving excuses to skip these events/services just to go out.
- i cant stay home and finish my homework D: (and blogging HERE)
If i dont go:
- Wenzhe/Joanna will rot at home, and i'll disappoint them, because i promised.
- i can save up for the "sacrifice" i've pledged! (like totally!)
- i still cant go for the Leaders session ahhhhhh sian.
See how contradicting i am? :[ Lord tell me what to do as i pour out everything to you tonight, whether i should go or not. And Lord i just pray (very, very hear) that i can go for Pastor Yoakim's schools seminar, because i've never attended them once and i really wanto experience your strong presence within me Lord.
I pray all these in Jesus' name, Amen.
Labels: i love you, Lord